Want
by Shadow-ofthe-Night35
Summary: Susan knew that people don't always get what they want. So she tried to forget the only thing that she ever wanted. MOVIEVERSE! SuXCaspian. 3 in the morning inspiration.


A/N: MOVIEVERSE!! I do not support Susan/Caspian shipping but if you get inspiration, you don't fight with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or anything in it.

**Want**

Susan knew that she would not be coming back. More than that Aslan had told her so, she knew it in her heart. The pain, the ache that lay hidden there was too great. It would be better off forgotten. But forgetting was the hard part.

His face haunted her every time she closed her eyes. The image of his smile was imprinted in her mind. She heard his laughter in the dead of night and smelled the scent of his skin on the wind. His voice was that faint sound you hear in the back of your mind, and she longed to feel his arms around her. She reached for his hand in the darkness, but her fingertips met only air. She shivered at the thought of his lips; her fingers itched to run through his silky hair. And his eyes—the dark depths that she lost herself in daily, but only in daydreams or the moments when her met her gaze. He could hold her still with just a glance, and he knew not the power he had over her. He did not know she loved him.

Susan did not want to return to England. She wanted to stay with him and never leave Narnia again. She wanted to grow old at his side, and die in his arms. She wanted to wake up every morning and see his perfect, beautiful face. She wanted him to come to her with all his problems and wanted to do the same to him. she wanted to kiss him every night before she went to sleep, and know that he was watching over her at night. She wanted him to comfort her when she cried, and she wanted to heal him after every battle he fought. She wanted to see that dark longing in his eyes—the blissful happiness—and know that she was the cause. She wanted to hold his hand and walk down the beach at midnight. She wanted to sit in his lap and sing with him, and do anything he wanted to do. She wanted him to say he loved her and to tell him the same thing. She wanted to never leave his side, his thoughts, or his heart.

But in life, what you want doesn't count for much at all. And you rarely get what you really want. So Susan had to return to England, and hide her wants away in a locked corner of her mind. She had to try to forget all the things she wanted. And it was the forgetting that was the hard part.

Kissing him goodbye had been a mistake. She had wanted something from Narnia to remember him by—something she would never forget. And now, she _couldn't_ forget it, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't forget how his lips had met hers, molded perfectly to hers. She couldn't forget how warm his chest had felt, crushed against hers. She couldn't forget how safe she had felt, locked in the circle of his arms, his hands tangling in her hair. She couldn't forget the scent of his breath, sweet and warm on her neck as he held her. She couldn't forget the shift of the muscles in his broad shoulders as he grew taut with passion and kissed her back. She couldn't forget the love, the passion, the longing, and the pain in his eyes when she had forced herself to turn away and walk through the door in the air and back into England.

And now it was the only thing she wanted to forget, because it caused her the most pain.

* * *

On the day she died, she finally remembered everything she had tried to forget. She remembered him—his strong shoulders, his smile, his laugh. She discovered that the tempting scent she still smelled on the western winds was his. She realised that the eyes she saw when she closed hers were his—the dark pools of longing and love that had never gone away. She understood why she had never kissed another man, because nothing would ever compare to that first and last most precious memory.

Susan died with his name on her lips and those who grieved for her questioned each other on who that name belonged to. But no one remembered Susan loving anyone, and they could think of no answer.

But Susan knew, and when she arrived in the green land, Aslan led her to him. She threw herself into his arms and they were young again, and in love, and beautiful. And the kiss they shared was almost as perfect as the first.

Susan received everything she wanted. And on the first day of forever, he promised she had never left his heart, and that he had never stopped loving her, and that he would love her always. She smiled at the words she had longed to hear for a lifetime, and slipped her hand into his. Susan walked with Prince Caspian into the sunlight, and wanted nothing more.

**Fin.**

A/N: Another Susan, I know. I'm actually working on an Edmund one that revolves around the word "good-bye." Just a little taste of what's coming next. And Peter and Lucy will get their dues soon...I hope. :)


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